MUSIC

I read an article a couple of weeks ago about music and aggression. It examined the effects of misogynist music and its negative impact on men's treatment of women. It seems that males had more strong negative emotions and behaviors toward women than men once they finished listening to the sexually aggressive song lyrics.

It's obvious that music can have an effect, good or bad on ones emotions and or behaviors. It has since the beginning of time. As a teen a good love song, when I was between boyfriends (smile) made me cry. When I had a boyfriend, the song made me think of him and want to hangout with him. Good house music made me want to party and dance. Not to mention my family went to church every Sunday, there was music there too.

I feel that this is still true of some teens today. The only thing is that the mind-set is that women are sex objects, whores and sexually loose. There seems to be no boundaries on language in the way it is used relating to women now-a-days. This is scary. I know that the artistes are writing about their experiences, but it's still scary. The viewing and listing audience is getting younger and younger. I work in a school and there are first and second graders coming to school asking one another, did you see that new video with 50 Cent and his boys. My concern here is that they don't have life experience to counter what they see or hear. They can't say what they see isn't true because they don't know. They're just kids.

What do you think?

STAY-AT-HOME-DAD'S RETURN TO WORK

I read an article in Thursday's New York Times about strategies on how dads can stay connected to the workforce while at home so it will be easier for them to return to work. The article left me questioning why is it harder for men to return to work than it is for women.

Men cutting back on work or deciding to stay home for the sake of family life is still, in the year 2008, uncharted territory. Society tells us that men are meant to go out and bring home the bacon. Society just doesn't get why men make the decision to leave a budding career to become full time nurturers. Why would a man want to take time away from the traditional hunter role. This shouldn't be so. Wood tells us that "From infancy on, we are encouraged to learn how to embody the gender that society prescribes for us"(p.24). Well, there it is, we look at family and home issues such as cooking, cleaning, and raising the children as women's concerns. We don't acknowledge that men have the same kinds of concerns about their families. They just may want to change diapers, prepare nutritious meals, and make boo-boos feel better. But they are not suppose to. They are suppose to be strong, ambitious, successful and the breadwinner. Not nurturing or emotional and certainly not a homemaker.

When men disconnect from all the masculinity stereotypes they are questioned about being a "real" man. Stay-at-home-dad's returning to the workforce tend to be looked at as not having the kind of drive or seriousness of purpose that is needed in leadership. Society has unwritten rules for dads that decide that their family is more important than corporate America.

Men face more prejudice when they decide to return to the workplace than women do because society is more accepting of moms making such a choice as to staying home and being the caregiver.

The number of stay-at-home-dads still pales in comparison to women who make that choice, but the numbers are growing. Nearly 160,000 men stay home with their children today(US Census). So I say Kudos to the men breaking out of societies normal role.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL!!!!

LOVE

My husband's way of expressing his affection is text book, with a twist. He is all about the instrumental and activity as Wood puts it. But while he's fixing, doing and going he tends to express his thoughts and feelings along the way. For example, last week he was painting one of our bathrooms. It's a small bathroom, therefore it's a one person job. So I decided that I would go to the mall. He says no I want you to stay home so we can "talk". I was thinking- hon we can talk tonight, but knowing his MO I decided to stay. To make a long story short (and to not get too personal)-as he was painting he brought up the fact that we haven't had our date night in a few months and he wanted me to know that it was bothering him. So we talked...

Even though my husband doesn't sit and express his feelings the way I would like him to, I've learned in the 20 yrs. to accept it when and how I get it. Just because I don't get it my way doesn't mean he does not love me. At the end of the day we all express our love in our own unique and different ways. Whether it's by doing or being verbal.

How do you express your love?