MUSIC

I read an article a couple of weeks ago about music and aggression. It examined the effects of misogynist music and its negative impact on men's treatment of women. It seems that males had more strong negative emotions and behaviors toward women than men once they finished listening to the sexually aggressive song lyrics.

It's obvious that music can have an effect, good or bad on ones emotions and or behaviors. It has since the beginning of time. As a teen a good love song, when I was between boyfriends (smile) made me cry. When I had a boyfriend, the song made me think of him and want to hangout with him. Good house music made me want to party and dance. Not to mention my family went to church every Sunday, there was music there too.

I feel that this is still true of some teens today. The only thing is that the mind-set is that women are sex objects, whores and sexually loose. There seems to be no boundaries on language in the way it is used relating to women now-a-days. This is scary. I know that the artistes are writing about their experiences, but it's still scary. The viewing and listing audience is getting younger and younger. I work in a school and there are first and second graders coming to school asking one another, did you see that new video with 50 Cent and his boys. My concern here is that they don't have life experience to counter what they see or hear. They can't say what they see isn't true because they don't know. They're just kids.

What do you think?

STAY-AT-HOME-DAD'S RETURN TO WORK

I read an article in Thursday's New York Times about strategies on how dads can stay connected to the workforce while at home so it will be easier for them to return to work. The article left me questioning why is it harder for men to return to work than it is for women.

Men cutting back on work or deciding to stay home for the sake of family life is still, in the year 2008, uncharted territory. Society tells us that men are meant to go out and bring home the bacon. Society just doesn't get why men make the decision to leave a budding career to become full time nurturers. Why would a man want to take time away from the traditional hunter role. This shouldn't be so. Wood tells us that "From infancy on, we are encouraged to learn how to embody the gender that society prescribes for us"(p.24). Well, there it is, we look at family and home issues such as cooking, cleaning, and raising the children as women's concerns. We don't acknowledge that men have the same kinds of concerns about their families. They just may want to change diapers, prepare nutritious meals, and make boo-boos feel better. But they are not suppose to. They are suppose to be strong, ambitious, successful and the breadwinner. Not nurturing or emotional and certainly not a homemaker.

When men disconnect from all the masculinity stereotypes they are questioned about being a "real" man. Stay-at-home-dad's returning to the workforce tend to be looked at as not having the kind of drive or seriousness of purpose that is needed in leadership. Society has unwritten rules for dads that decide that their family is more important than corporate America.

Men face more prejudice when they decide to return to the workplace than women do because society is more accepting of moms making such a choice as to staying home and being the caregiver.

The number of stay-at-home-dads still pales in comparison to women who make that choice, but the numbers are growing. Nearly 160,000 men stay home with their children today(US Census). So I say Kudos to the men breaking out of societies normal role.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL!!!!

LOVE

My husband's way of expressing his affection is text book, with a twist. He is all about the instrumental and activity as Wood puts it. But while he's fixing, doing and going he tends to express his thoughts and feelings along the way. For example, last week he was painting one of our bathrooms. It's a small bathroom, therefore it's a one person job. So I decided that I would go to the mall. He says no I want you to stay home so we can "talk". I was thinking- hon we can talk tonight, but knowing his MO I decided to stay. To make a long story short (and to not get too personal)-as he was painting he brought up the fact that we haven't had our date night in a few months and he wanted me to know that it was bothering him. So we talked...

Even though my husband doesn't sit and express his feelings the way I would like him to, I've learned in the 20 yrs. to accept it when and how I get it. Just because I don't get it my way doesn't mean he does not love me. At the end of the day we all express our love in our own unique and different ways. Whether it's by doing or being verbal.

How do you express your love?

What is Beauty?

After reading Gendered Messages in Advertising in chapter 11 of our text, I though back to when I was in my 20's, and I must admit that I was a product junkie. When a new product was advertised by one of my favorite celebrities, I would run out and buy it. I have tried all kinds of beauty creams, shampoos, lotions, exercise equipment, diet plan, etc.(you get the picture) trying to change one thing or another about my appearance. A globe study done by Dove in 2004 concluded that 90% of women, ages 15-65 wanted to change at least one thing about themselves. I can truly believe this. At the end of using my many products, I was hoping to look like one of my favorite celebrities. I agree 100% with what Kilbourne stated in 1999 and 2007, that ads do affect what people purchase and what they consider attractive, feminine, masculine, etc. We buy not just products but the images that advertisers sell us (pg.271). Thank God I now understand that it takes a "team" of people to help celebrities get ready for their public appearances. And a little photo-retouch for those magazine covers. Without their "team" and touch-ups they would look like you and me. Advertisements would have us think differently. They set such unrealistic standards of beauty. What about the young boys, girls, and teens that do not understand this. They want to look like their favorite pop stars. They learn about the latest trends through these advertisements and are easily influenced by the messages of, thin is in and 789 ways to look sexy (and article in last months Seventeen magazine). How do they get a clear understanding of how not to fall for the propaganda? How do you handle these things if you have young children or teenagers?

Grey's Anatomy

I don't know how many of you watch Grey's Anatomy, but I absolutely love that show. Anyway, last night there was a scene where Dr. Bailey, a female doctor was in a heated discussion with her husband Tucker about her working too much. Tucker's position was that Dr. Bailey worked more than she was home with their two year old son. He does not like the idea of Tuck being in daycare. Let me add that Tucker and Dr. Bailey are separated and Tucker was a stay-at-home-dad. Dr. Bailey's defence was that after giving birth to Tuck she did not have the luxury of taking a year off of work to be home with him and not expect her career to suffer so she went back to work.

This was a powerful scene. It make me think of a few issues. For one thing, why is it that if a women decides to take a leave from her job/career to raise her children her job may not be secure. Either not available to her upon return or no pay while she's on leave. This puts women in an extremely tough position of having to choose between their families and their careers. What if your family needs the two incomes or if you're a single mother?

The second issue I thought about was the feelings of women. Sometimes there's much guilt and shame that comes with not being able to stay home to raise your family or simply wanting to be a working mother. For so many years society has dictated that a "good mother" is one who stays home. You would think that in this year of 2008 that society's ideas would have evolved a lot more concerning this issue. What do you think?

Business Class Week #1

Most cultures define family as mother, father, and children. Years ago it was the norm for the mother to stay home and raise the children and take care of the home while the father went out to work. Well we are no longer living in the "Leave it to Beaver" days. As the African proverb says, "It takes a village to raise a child". In the year 2008 that village may include people of different backgrounds (age, gender, race, nationality, etc.). While my parents were out working (because our family needed the two incomes) my village consisted of a neighbor who lovingly took me and two other children into her home. Mi-Ma, as we affectionately called her, was not my only "Caregiver". My grandparents, biological aunts, uncles, and close family friends (male & female) who I called aunt and uncle, all had a hand in taking care of me and teaching me with great love and affection.

I really don't care for the term "Caregiver". It sounds cold and uninviting. If Hallmark doesn't evolve with society with cards for the many different "Caregivers" of the world, we really don't have to wait for them. As some of my peers stated, we can have our children make their own cards with special touches and words that let their "Caregiver" know how much they are loved.

Prof. M. shared that because of the stereotypical definition of what a "good mother" is, she had feelings of guilt because she goes to work and leaves her daughter with someone else. I too felt these same feelings of guilt at one time. So much so that I eventually stopped working and going to college and became a stay at home mom. This was good for me and my family. I DO NOT pass judgment on working mothers.

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